Opinion: funnily enough, car reviews on YouTube are not part of a great Agenda

If YouTube teaches us anything, it's that you can't please everyone even some of the time. Shoot a fully lit video with gratuitous action? “Nobody drives like that.” Drive more sedately and discuss the nuance of the driving experience? “What a boring video.” Feature a hypercar? “Shame no owners will ever drive their cars.” OK, what about something affordable and ordinary? Well, of the 18 viewers a third will suggest buying a used Golf GTI instead (to be fair, not a bad shout), a few will post sleep emojis and the rest will be bots talking about how to make millions in crypto.

However, the real sin on YouTube is to have an opinion that deviates even slightly from the accepted reality. In fact, critical analysis is a path to outrage, character assassination, questions concerning one’s parentage and, of course, the great conspiracy theory. Because after hundreds of miles, many hours of seat time on all sorts of roads and perhaps even the context of a rival in tow, it’s inconceivable that your findings could be based on facts or lived experience. It all comes down to The Agenda.

My Agenda changes a lot, it seems. If I dare suggest that a Lotus Emira isn’t quite the real deal then I’m clearly on the payroll of Porsche. If I happen to love an Aston Martin it’s solely because I’m British. Unless those same people who hated my Lotus conclusion happen to like the Aston Martin. Because then, as if by magic, I’m pretty much bang on the money and definitely unbiased. I can barely keep up with my ever shifting Agenda. You might even conclude it would be easier just to say what I actually think.

To be fair there are plenty of commenters who just like to show their appreciation for the time and effort poured into these projects. But the human instinct to attack different points of view is quite scary to behold, even in this ultimately unimportant little world of ours. I am obsessed with cars, but I’m not sure they could ever elicit such bile and fury in me.

However, I’d just like to use this forum to say that I personally, and Top Gear as a whole, don’t have a dark, sinister Agenda. There is no master plan to subvert the car industry and brainwash our audience. Our job is to drive cars and convey their dynamics and character in a (hopefully) entertaining way. We won’t pull our punches. For British cars. Or Porsches. Or Dacias. Or Ferraris. Or anything. But at the same time we don’t take delight in tearing manufacturers apart.

In fact, we really want to be balanced, impartial and considered. Glib or poorly considered conclusions are an affront to the incredible ingenuity, engineering and the passion spent in creating any new car project. Telling the truth isn’t as exciting or, if you happen to disagree, convenient as an elaborately imagined Agenda. But it does make life a lot simpler. And if you want to hear that everything is awesome, always, there are many channels on YouTube that will serve you well. Those guys and girls “Can’t wait to share this journey” with you. Oh God, I’m turning into one of those poisonous commenters...