Skoda Kodiaq vRS review: a seven-seater with the heart of a Golf GTI

A vRS badge on a seven-seat SUV? Seems a bit pointless.

Let’s not be too hasty, eh? You’ll remember the old Skoda Kodiaq vRS of course, once the fastest seven-seater around the Nürburgring (in the hands of Sabine Schmitz) and powered by a 236bhp 2.0-litre twin-turbo four-cylinder diesel. Yep, a performance Kodiaq with a *gasp* dirty diesel beneath the bonnet…

It felt a strange choice at the time, but Skoda changed tack a few years later when it ditched the diesel for a 242bhp 2.0-litre turbocharged four-pot petrol. Ah, much more sensible.

Sensible? Sorry, this is still a 242bhp family friendly behemoth, is it not?

No, it isn’t actually. It’s now a 262bhp family friendly behemoth. Yep, Skoda’s latest hot take on all the car you could ever need now packs an extra 20bhp courtesy of its ‘EA888’ 2.0-litre turbocharged four-cylinder petrol unit, which it shares with the Skoda Octavia vRS and Volkswagen Golf GTI.

It also gets 295lb ft of torque to play with – the highest of any combustion powered production Skoda no less – delivered to all four wheels through a seven-speed DSG gearbox.

Right…

Wait, we haven’t finished yet. All that power means the Kodiaq vRS can see off the zero to 62mph sprint in just 6.4 seconds (up two tenths on its predecessor) on to a top speed of 143mph. Just imagine sending it down the autobahn at Vmax with your family in tow. Actually, I strongly advise against doing that. Time and a place, people.

But in everyday life, acceleration is… plentiful. It doesn’t pin you back in your seat like you experience in some of the new-fangled performance electric SUVs, nor does it fundamentally change the character of the car; this isn't wild child the vRS badge implies.

What it does do is keep the Kodiaq vRS docile enough to be a family wagon – this car's primary function 99 per cent of the time – while ensuring it's capable of the odd surprise at the traffic light grand prix.

Probably because 'family wagon' and 'traffic light grand prix' go together like chalk and cheese.

Fair point. But that’ll work to your advantage, and anyway, there are a few tell-tale signs that this isn’t any old SUV. Most noticeably the front light strip, gloss black body detailing, 20in black alloys behind which sit ventilated brake discs wearing two-piston gloss red calipers (at the front), and polished stainless steel exhaust tips. Because nothing screams schporty like polished stainless steel exhaust tips.

What they won’t be able to see are the luxuries you’re enjoying from within, including sporty vRS branded steering wheel and seats, black upholstery and headlining, much red stitching and stainless steel pedals. As per the regular Kodiaq it also gets a 10in digital driver display and a 13in freestanding infotainment screen that flashes you with a vRS welcome logo upon startup. A subtle reminder that any passengers ought to buckle up.

Should they?

Yes, it’s the law. But that aside, there are a few other tweaks designed to make this more fun than your regular Kodiaq. These include Progressive Steering and Dynamic Chassis Control Plus, which offers 15 different damping settings depending on your mood. Can’t be bothered to figure out your preferred settings? Eco, Comfort, Normal, Sport, Individual, Snow and Off-Road modes do all the hard work for you.

Meanwhile there’s also a new Dynamic Sound Boost system, which is simply jargon for synthetic noise. Nothing like what's pumped into the cabin on sporty electric cars – the Abarth 500e springs to mind – this actually gives quite a nice burble on startup, with the tone changing depending on what drive mode you’re in. And how hard you’re pushing, obvs. At which point it… doesn’t sound quite so nice.

A track day weapon then?

Ha, not quite. The steering has a nice feel and weight to it, body roll is minimal and there’s plenty of grip too. But enough to derive any pleasure around Brands Hatch? Hardly. Paddles behind the steering wheel allow you to manually control gearshifts, though it’ll still auto upshift once you hit the redline. And there’s little to no feel to the brake pedal either.

But once you’ve had your fun, you can slip away comfortably and quietly too. Dial the damping settings back from maximum attack and the ride is impressively cossetting over all but the worst bumps and ruts in the road. Even the cleverest suspension in the world would struggle to deal with the 20in alloys this thing rolls on.

You haven’t mentioned the price yet…

Now you really should buckle up. The Skoda Kodiaq vRS costs from – wait for it – £52,595. Fifty-two-and-a-half thousand pounds! The standard seven-seat Kodiaq is £39,000. One of these, or two top-spec Dacia Joggers, which brings double the number of seats for bums? Might as well invest in a bus if you’ve got that many kids, mind.

In one down SportLine trim, you’re looking at £48,450 with the most potent 201bhp (and 236lb ft) 2.0-litre turbocharged four-cylinder engine available on the standard Kodiaq. That’s barely more than a second slower to 62mph, plus it gets the fancy DCC suspension with all the different modes too.

So lesser is better here, then?

Sure is. Much like the Enyaq vRS, it doesn’t quite live up to the promise of that badge. You're buying into a look, a vibe, rather than actual performance. Even if it does get the powerplant from a GTI.

I'd dearly love Skoda to take its vRS stuff more seriously and tap into its motorsport heritage (okay, rallying background) a bit more. That's unlikely to happen because that'd push the brand beyond its remit. But until it goes all in... I'm struggling to get on board with this.