BMW M135 - long-term review

I have ranted about the intense frustration of ADAS and the complications of the ‘Profile’ system for the M135’s many settings already. Suffice to say, both of these things aren’t easy to overlook. However, as the miles rack-up I’m trying to be positive and focus instead on the power, the dynamics and the quality.

The quality is really very impressive. The M135 is a class act and feels rather beautifully finished. I have my issues with the touchscreen but the large, sweeping dash readout works really well and it doesn’t feel overly burdened with OTT ‘surprise and delight’ features. The underlying sense of engineering is matched in the structure of the car, too. It feels rock solid and the damping is sometimes a little abrupt but always nicely controlled. Like there’s real steel to the dynamics.

The engine delivers the goods to match and the M135 feels properly quick when you wring it out, but the pure performance isn’t delivered with much drama or excitement. In fact, the four-cylinder engine sounds strained and tuneless. A million miles from the silken, cultured straight-six in the early generations of rear-drive 1 Series. Nothing like as riotous as an A45 AMG or precise and rev-happy as a Civic Type R, either. These cars are built around their powertrains and the intensity seems to permeate every area of their character.

The M135’s engine comes to define it in a round about way, too. Not because it sparkles, but because it’s highly effective but lacks polish and a real sense of urgency. The same conclusion could be applied to the car as a whole: there’s grip and response but very little adjustability and the one-dimensional balance is so determined that it’s very difficult to feel truly involved. The M135 is four-wheel drive but the rear-axle is used purely to enhance traction and never seems alive and ready to help steer the car sharply into an apex. On the way out it might mitigate some understeer but a little smudge of oversteer to keep the engine fully-lit and the car on line is a distant dream.

Perhaps I’m asking too much? Well, maybe. But I do wonder who’s the target customer. On paper the M135 is so appealing and it should really be a sharper, more playful take on a Golf R or S3. A uniquely BMW-flavoured hot hatch. Instead it has some hot hatch compromises - tyre noise, a pretty jagged low speed ride and a sharp DCT ’box that can make low speed manoeuvring a little tricky in combination with a clunky Start/Stop system - but the car doesn't pay you back in terms of raw excitement. It’s like it can’t quite bring itself to just have some fun.

As you can probably tell, we have yet to bond. The M135 is not a bad car, but that almost makes it worse. The potential is right there, j-u-s-t out of reach. By failing to really exploit what this platform should deliver, perhaps for fear of creating something too niche and narrow in focus, BMW has actually ended up in a kind of hot hatch no man’s land. Right now it’s a pretty cool thing to run to the airport in, but shouldn’t it be so much more?