BMW X7 review

This is BMW’s flagship SUV. It went on sale in 2019, so it's still a baby in comparison with most of the company's range... they grow up so fast, don't they? The biggest SUV comes with a massive kidney grille to match its high status, though they're by no means the largest set of nostrils to come out of Munich.

The car was given a facelift in 2022 and gained fancy new slimline headlights, an even bigger grille and even more chrome. As with most BMWs these days, if you don't like the look of it you're probably not in the target market. 

Why on earth does it need to look like that?

Well, it’s all about impact, isn’t it. That and the fact that it has to squeeze seven seats in: this is the practical option in the BMW SUV range, after all. And these cars are about flaunting your conspicuous consumption. The X7 makes up exactly one third of BMW's luxury trilogy, which also contains the 7 Series saloon and the 8 Series coupe.

These cars are marketed slightly differently to the rest of the BMW range, and each can easily reach six-figure price tags once you've started piling on the optional equipment. Their adverts get a minimalist 'Bayerische Motoren Werke' logo rather than the blue and white propeller. Why? Because the fashion business often uses the full name for the top-end stuff (Paul Smith, Calvin Klein) and initials for the diffusion line (PS, CK). If you find this almost comically subtle, we're right with you.

Except these aren't really a separate line: in design and tech, they're merely bigger, better, plusher BMWs. If you like BMWs, that's fine, they polish up the brand. What the 8 Series and X7 don't do is provide the stand-apart specialness of an Aston Martin DBX or Range Rover, a car the people behind the X7 cite as a main rival.

What makes this different to a Range Rover?

Aside from the tech focus, which takes more of a backseat in the Range Rover, all X7s have three rows of seats. The middle row has the option of either a pair of plush individual thrones, or a three-seat split bench, making this a nursery run charabanc of unparalleled luxury. Which no one will use it for.

As usual BMW has thrown masses of technical wizardry at the chassis, so this truck-sized monster can perform surprising off-road feats. Which no one will use it for. But it’s nice to know that it can... even if the Range Rover has it licked there anyway. 

What about on the road?

The X7 rides imperiously, wafts along the road and eats up distance. It’s great around town if you crave comfort most of all. You certainly won't have any complaints from passengers, as long as you don't try and drive about the place too quickly (the now-deceased pre-facelift, quad-turbo M50d version equalled the Nordschleife time of the V8-engined E90 M3. Yet more proof that a quick 'Ring time says nothing about what makes a driver's car).

There’s a distinct feeling of being impressed by how the advanced tech smothers over the obvious inadequacies (how does something this heavy feel so softy and wieldy?) of the car, rather than enjoying any sense of connection.

Do I have to have a diesel?

You do not. In the UK your ‘standard’ options are now the xDrive40i petrol or the xDrive40d diesel. Both are 3.0-litre straight sixes, with 375bhp for the 40i and 335bhp for the 40d. If you have more compensating to do, there’s the twin-turbo 4.4-litre petrol V8 in the range-topping M60i. That produces a monstrous 523bhp and 553lb ft of torque.

All X7s send their power to all four wheels through eight-speed auto gearboxes, and all are now helped along by 48V mild hybrid tech. The diesel is the more frugal option of the range and its torque gets the car moving nicely: see, there's still life in the black pump yet. Check out the Driving tab for all the information on that. 

So how much does it cost? 

Well it’s not cheap: the range spans from £88k to £113k without the merest tick of an options box, which can easily get you into crazy money if you’re not careful. Check out the Buying tab for more information.

There’s no getting away from the fact that the X7 is another superbly engineered and executed product from Munich, by way of a factory in the USA. It's a fantastic mile muncher, roomy, luxurious and refined. It’s also beautifully serene inside, so long as you avoid the excesses of the M-tuned range topper.

But it lacks is specialness of ambience; a sense that you're not just in a bigger, better trimmed and better equipped version of any of the firm's other cars. Unfortunately the fancy materials and glass gear shifter don’t quite level up the X7 enough to make it feel as special as it should.